so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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