Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do herpes really smell.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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