if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my shit smells like andre
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
