Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
