Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Two words: blizzard sex
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
