i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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