talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
