I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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