I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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