dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
