my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
