Betty ford says i'm here all night
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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