I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You need a sexual gate keeper
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
