i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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