If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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