There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
