i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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