Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it because I queefed?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
