Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
