I love black thongs
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
