What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
