i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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