Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
