God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
