so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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