I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
