That's intense
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
