No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
