Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
