i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
