When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You left your underwear on the fireplace
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
