my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So vagazzling was a success
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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