I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
