Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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