i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
