Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just threw up on my dentist
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
