somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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