Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
