The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
