Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
