ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
there is glitter all over my balls
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
