well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
where does the pee come out of this thing
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
