chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
