We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
