wat bout pragnant strippers??
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
