I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
