mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't turn off my feet"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
