So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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