So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
