Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
