Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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